Christine's entry:
Devon mourns the demise of Tim Royster, holder of three world records and notorious Henthorpe celebrity.
Tim was not only a voracious competitor; he was also a virulent campaigner for improved ethical standards. His fiery speeches against the use of drugs and the vile practices of poultry farmers were unforgettable.
In his own discipline he vigorously opposed competitors’ use of anti-emetic drugs and he railed against organisers supplying material contaminated by hormones, antibiotics or salmonella.
When his chest began to display symptoms of excessive intake of oestrogens, he was poised to start a law suit. He back-pedalled after a change in the law and a satisfactory out-of-court settlement.
He was triumphant when the 2006 Copenhagen championships decided to use pasteurised eggs laid by free-range chickens. This, however, resulted in his poorest performance ever: only 45 raw eggs swallowed in five minutes, compared to his – still unbeaten – world record of 62. He described the eggs as ‘gunky’, deploring the failure of modern science to eliminate deadly salmonella without antibiotics and without spoiling the eggs’ consistency.
Sadly, Tim died a martyr to his cause.
He leaves a wife, Peggy, successful author of five chick lit novels, and a clutch of teenage daughters.
Geoff's entry:
Eleven time National Scrotal Weightlifting Champion, Alfred Boulder from Truro, died on October 31st, aged 72. Alfred reigned supreme in the 1970’s in this somewhat clandestine sport, peaking in 1979 with a ‘slow snatch’ of 22.85 kg. He is survived by his beloved Marjorie who spoke this week at the NSW Convention, where Alfred planned a surprise comeback with a record 25 kg lift. Mrs Boulder said her husband of 50 years was fit but anxious about the attempt. “His lifting tackle was fine and dandy but he had dodgy knees, bless him.”
She described her pride when Alf lifted his first one-pound bag of sugar in their teens. At 41 he achieved his lifelong dream of lifting the equivalent of the airline passenger luggage limit of 20 kg, acknowledging that the general public would probably consider this rather unseemly.
“He was shy,” said Mrs Boulder. “When the crowd roared him on, I’d shout, ‘Hang in there, Alfie, save some for me!’ and he’d blush… such a sweet man.”
Alfred Boulder drowned tragically after getting snagged snorkeling over coral on the Cornish coast. His funeral will be held at The Church of the Blessed Virgin Mary, Truro, on November 12th.
Clare's entry:
Honky Proboscis 1944 – 2009
Honky died participating in the sport he enjoyed most, Nasal Stone-Rolling. “Getting one`s nose in front” may well have originated with Honky, who was a much loved and valued team member.
We always had a six inch advantage over our opponents, especially as the callouses which form on our hands and knees participating in our sport, were eventually matched by those on Honky`s nose.
His latest victories included the National 200 metres Men`s Championship 2006, 2007 and 2008, and he was recently instrumental in introducing the “Sniff and Hold” 100 metres into our Club, where the stones are inhaled and nasally carried for a set 10 metres within a 100 metre course before being returned to the track.
Sadly it was while demonstrating the technique for this new event, that he met his tragic demise, as a knee stumble caused him to breathe in too deeply and he choked.
Our thoughts are with his family including his two youngsters, Concord and Nasalina, who show signs of following in his tracks.
He will be sadly missed.
His memorial service takes place on Tuesday 10th June. All welcome, but no flowers please, bearing in mind the hayfever season.
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